A YALSA 2020 Amazing Audiobooks for Young Adults Selection
"[P]rofound…a triumph-a full-throated howl to the moon to remind us why we choose to survive and thrive." -Brendan Kiely, New York Times bestselling author of Tradition
"Razor-sharp, deeply revealing, and brutally honest…emotionally raw and deeply insightful." -Booklist (starred review)
The critically acclaimed author of We Are the Ants opens up about what led to an attempted suicide in his teens, and his path back from the experience.
"I wasn't depressed because I was gay. I was depressed and gay."
Shaun David Hutchinson was nineteen. Confused. Struggling to find the vocabulary to understand and accept who he was and how he fit into a community in which he couldn't see himself. The voice of depression told him that he would never be loved or wanted, while powerful and hurtful messages from society told him that being gay meant love and happiness weren't for him.
A million moments large and small over the years all came together to convince Shaun that he couldn't keep going, that he had no future. And so he followed through on trying to make that a reality.
Thankfully Shaun survived, and over time, came to embrace how grateful he is and how to find self-acceptance. In this courageous and deeply honest memoir, Shaun takes readers through the journey of what brought him to the edge, and what has helped him truly believe that it does get better. Shaun David Hutchinson is the author of numerous books for young adults, including The Past and Other Things That Should Stay Buried, The Apocalypse of Elena Mendoza, At the Edge of the Universe, and We Are the Ants. He also edited the anthologies Violent Ends and Feral Youth and wrote the memoir Brave Face, which chronicles his struggles with depression and coming out during his teenage years. He lives in Seattle, where he enjoys drinking coffee, yelling at the TV, and eating cake. Visit him at ShaunDavidHutchinson.com or on Twitter @ShaunieDarko. "Author and narrator Shaun David Hutchinson wants listeners to remember one thing: Never give up. This memoir is not about the highs in Hutchinson's life after he became a bestselling author-it's about the lowest of the lows. Through his own voice, he painfully recalls his younger years-the depression that compounded his confusion over his sexuality-he is gay-and his fear that the important people in his life would no longer accept him. In a clever literary device, his depression continually chimes in, speaking directly to him and egging him on to give up anytime he encountered difficulty. Hearing that depression brought to life through Hutchinson's own voice is chilling. Though Hutchinson's story includes some horrific events-preceded by trigger warnings-this is an important audiobook."
