From New York Times bestselling author and blogger Heather B. Armstrong comes an honest and irreverent memoir-reminiscent of the New York Times bestseller Brain on Fire-about her experience as the third person ever to participate in an experimental treatment for depression involving ten rounds of a chemically induced coma approximating brain death.
For years, Heather B. Armstrong has alluded to her struggle with depression on her website, dooce. It's scattered throughout her archive, where it weaves its way through posts about pop culture, music, and motherhood. In 2016, Heather found herself in the depths of a depression she just couldn't shake, an episode darker and longer than anything she had previously experienced. She had never felt so discouraged by the thought of waking up in the morning, and it threatened to destroy her life. For the sake of herself and her family, Heather decided to risk it all by participating in an experimental clinical trial.
Now, for the first time, Heather recalls the torturous eighteen months of suicidal depression she endured and the month-long experimental study in which doctors used propofol anesthesia to quiet all brain activity for a full fifteen minutes before bringing her back from a flatline. Ten times. The experience wasn't easy. Not for Heather or her family. But a switch was flipped, and Heather hasn't experienced a single moment of suicidal depression since.
"Breathtakingly honest" (Lisa Genova, New York Times bestselling author), self-deprecating, and scientifically fascinating, The Valedictorian of Being Dead brings to light a groundbreaking new treatment for depression.
The Valedictorian of Being Dead was previously published with the subtitle "The True Story of Dying Ten Times to Live." Heather B. Armstrong was widely acknowledged to be the most popular "mommy blogger" in the world. Her website, Dooce, was twice listed as one of the 25 best blogs in the world by Time magazine and Forbes listed it as a top 100 website for women. In the many years that Heather helped to shape the online writing community, she worked to create targeted content not only for fellow parents but also for numerous global brands-including Ford, Nintendo, and Clorox-and wrote several books including the New York Times bestseller It Sucked and Then I Cried, Dear Daughter, and The Valedictorian of Being Dead. She passed away in 2023 at the age of 47. "Heather B. Armstrong narrates her own memoir of treatment-resistant depression with groundbreaking vocal intensity. She bravely welcomes listeners inside her painful, yet often hilarious, internal dialogue. She isn't portraying emotional desperation-she relives it for listeners. Her voice cracks because she is really crying as she screams for relief from her ceaseless desire not to be alive. This is why listeners will be surprised at how funny Armstrong can be. Her raw portrayal of the daily struggles of depression is juxtaposed with her laugh-out-loud navigation of an experimental treatment for depression. Listeners will root for Armstrong's brain to 'reboot' as she undergoes anesthesia, to quiet all brain activity, 10 times. Armstrong's powerfully honest performance is sure to enhance every listener's understanding of clinical depression."
