How to "get to zero" -resolve your conflicts with the people around you by understanding the origins of your conflict style and avoidance patterns -from the founder of The Relationship School.
Getting to Zero is a dynamic, user friendly, practical conflict resolution method aimed at helping readers work through conflict with those they care about as quickly as possible. Chances are most of us deal with conflict on a daily basis with friends, family members, lovers, partners, and even co-workers, and when unresolved it can affect every single aspect of our lives, from self-confidence to physical and mental health.
Jayson Gaddis is a personal trainer for relationships. Conflicts in our closest relationships are scary because so much is at stake. If the conflict doesn't go well, we could lose our marriage, our family or our job, all connected to our security and survival. So we'll do just about anything to not lose those relationships, including avoid conflict, betraying ourselves or becoming dishonest. Ironically, these adaptations create even more conflict.
Embracing conflict does not mean that we encourage fights with other people or that we condone abusive relationships. It means that we stop running away from uncomfortable conversations and instead learn how to work through them. It might mean calling your parents or that old friend and taking responsibility for your part of whatever went down in the past. Or, it might mean getting honest with that difficult co-worker and letting them know you want to work through your conflict and that you're willing to listen to them. It means communicating clearly and listening on a day-to-day basis.
In Getting to Zero, Gaddis shows the reader how to move from disconnection to connection, acceptance, and understanding. This method upgrades the old tired and static conflict resolution approaches. Why Zero? Zero means that the conflict between you and the other person is done, gone, and you both feel resolved. It's a win/win.
Most of us don't have great role models, maps or guidance on navigating conflict and the tools we use are deeply ingrained in us based on our upbringing and attachment styles. How can we deal with conflict in a more effective and positive way so that both parties walk away stronger and more connected? How can we learn from it? How can we look a little deeper into the problem of miscommunication and use it for personal growth? Gaddis provides explanations, examples, and specific tools for how to change the way we do conflict so we can have closer, more meaningful relationships.
