Sisteria

It's only after Finchley-dwelling Jewish housewife Beverley Littlestone has spent several minutes attempting "to work out which was further west, Liverpool or Bristol" that she realises she's literally "been lying back and thinking of England" while husband Melvin "had been engaged in what he liked to think of as lovemaking". Melvin's business skills aren't up to much either. And never have been. His latest bright idea to stave off bankruptcy involves selling "best-quality micro-fibre Korean toupées". Mail order. Meanwhile as their 17-year-old daughter Natalie finds a cure for her Permanent Menstrual Tension in happy clappy Christianity, son Benny is trying to reclaim his foreskin using a couple of 32mm washers and some fishing weights. And then Beverley's estranged sister – a thin, evil chat show presenter, given to reducing her colonic irrigator to tears and trying to book virgins who'd been groped by vicars for her Christmas special – asks Bev to have a baby for her.