You were the responsible one. The helper. The fixer. But no one ever asked what you needed.
If you grew up caring for your parents or siblings from a young age, you may still carry the invisible weight of that role today. Parentification-being forced to take on adult responsibilities too soon-can shape everything from your self-worth and mental health to your relationships and career. It can leave you exhausted, burned out, and unsure of how to put yourself first. So how can you begin healing?
Why You Never Got to Be a Kid helps you finally understand what happened, and how to move forward toward the life you deserve. Drawing from family systems theory and trauma-informed clinical practices, this groundbreaking guide will help you recognize the signs and patterns of parentification, understand how it affected your growth and development, and learn to build healthier, reciprocal relationships that nurture and reward.
You'll find step-by-step guidance to help you:
• Grieve the childhood you didn't get to have
• Set boundaries with others and improve communication
• Cultivate self-trust and self-worth
• Reclaim joy, play, and authenticity in adulthood
Through reflective exercises, real-life stories, and practical coping tools, you'll learn how to release long-hidden guilt, stop chasing perfectionism, and rediscover the childlike wonder and peace that's still within you.
You've taken care of everyone else long enough. Now it's time to take care of you.
Parentification occurs when a child is pulled into an inappropriate caretaking role at a young age, taking on responsibility for the health and well-being of the family because of parents who aren't willing or able to do so. Drawing from family systems theory, trauma-informed psychology, and decades of clinical experience, this book helps readers understand their experience and heal from codependency, people pleasing, lack of boundaries, self-doubt, and other mental health conditions stemming from parentification so they can live freely and authentically.
Lauren Dennelly, PhD, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker engaged in practice, teaching, and research. Her clinical interests include feminist mental health practice and working with parentified adults who have grown up in dysfunctional environments. She writes a blog on Psychology Today titled "The Mental Health of Girls and Women," and is a social work instructor. She lives and practices in Pennsylvania.
Dennelly resides in Emmaus, PA.
