Quest for the White Duck Trilogy

Gideon Sunday, an ex-semi-professional American Football player, goes to his pantry to retrieve an awful bottle of his (dead) sister's fruit preserves. When he gets there, he discovers a meadow in his pantry. He closes the door, takes a few breaths, and begins to investigate with as much sanity and candor as Sherlock Holmes. Upon discovering that A) no one is playing a trick on him, B) there really IS a meadow in his cupboard, and C) there is something three-quarters of ugly coming out of it, he decides to beat a monster to death with a baseball bat.Upon his conquest, he meets the lovely, and helpless, and possibly stupid Glorian, who tells him that she has come to get him so that he can fulfill a quest. Gideon, you see, must find a white duck and bring it to a certain river and put its down on the river to keep the land from being flooded. No one has really seen the duck, no one knows what is so special about the duck, no one knows where the duck is (supposedly). Glorian just knows that Gideon has to get it. Why Gideon? Because that is where her magic portal took her.Along with a bellicose young man, a retired weapons trader and master, a dashing and dangerous young lady, and a large, peaceful goat (and a band of singing thieves, like Robin Hood, except with song), Gideon has to break in to the most heavily guarded fortress in the world to rescue Glorian, steal a duck, and save the world.Yes. It's that awesome.

Book Three of the Quest for the White DuckGideon Sunday, an ex-football player who found himself mysteriously transported to the magical world of Chey, must find a way to stop Agnes, the evil wife of the sorcerer Wamchu.

When Gideon Sunday is handed a ball, he takes it and runs...Unfortunately, the game this unemployed football player has found himself in will probably get him killed.The minute he stepped through his pantry door into the magical land of Chey, Gideon Sunday knew that the last thing he ever wanted to be was a hero. He has been trying to go home ever since. But the events that landed him in this most bewildering land now conspire to strand him forever, and Gideon is desperate. He has one way out, but it is a dangerous one. To find the Bridge that can bring him safely home, Gideon will have to brave monsters and wizards, combat demons and dragons, not to mention placate an amorous giantess that would just love him (probably to death) and confront two of the meanest witches this side of a nightmare. All Gideon has on his side is one oversize ram-horse called Red.And one very used magical baseball bat.Who said the off-season wasn't rough?