Assistant to the Villain

ASSISTANT WANTED: Notorious, high-ranking villain seeks loyal, levelheaded assistant for unspecified office duties, supporting staff for random mayhem, terror, and other Dark Things In General. Discretion a must. Excellent benefits. With ailing family to support, Evie Sage's employment status isn't just important, it's vital. So when a mishap with Rennedawn's most infamous Villain results in a job offer—naturally, she says yes. No job is perfect, of course, but even less so when you develop a teeny crush on your terrifying, temperamental, and undeniably hot boss. Don't find evil so attractive, Evie. But just when she's getting used to severed heads suspended from the ceiling and the odd squish of an errant eyeball beneath her heel, Evie suspects this dungeon has a huge rat... and not just the literal kind. Because something rotten is growing in the kingdom of Rennedawn, and someone wants to take the Villain—and his entire nefarious empire—out. Now Evie must not only resist drooling over her boss but also figure out exactly who is sabotaging his work . . . and ensure he makes them pay. After all, a good job is hard to find. Contains mature themes.

NOTICE TO STAFF: There has been a disturbing increase in cheeriness, sprightly behavior, and overall optimism. Please resume your former dark, ominous terrors at your earliest convenience.-Mgmt Evie Sage has never been happier to be the assistant to The Villain. Who would have thought that working for an outrageously handsome, evil overlord would be so rewarding? Still, the business of being bad is demanding, the forces of good are annoyingly persistent, and said forbidding boss is somewhat... out-of-evil-office. But Rennedawn is in trouble, and all signs, Kingsley's included, point to catastrophe. Something peculiar is happening with the kingdom's magic, and it's made The Villain's manor vulnerable to their enemies... including their nemesis, the king. Now it's time for Evie to face her greatest challenge: protecting The Villain's lair, his nefarious works, and maybe the entire kingdom. No pressure, Evie. It's time to step out of her comfort zone and learn new skills. Like treason. Dagger work. Conspiring with the enemy. It's all so delightfully fun. But what happens when the assistant to The Villain is ready to become his apprentice? Contains mature themes.

REWARD OFFERED: Apprentice to The Villain wanted for treason (light), magical property damage (alleged), and one incident involving a weaponized scone (accurate). Frequently seen with a grumpy frog (crowned, judgmental). Answers to "Evie" or "Stop that." Evie Sage didn't mean to become the right-hand woman to the kingdom's most terrifying villain. One minute, she was applying for an entry-level position that promised "light paperwork and occasional beheadings," and the next, she was knee-deep in magical mayhem, murder plots, and an entirely inappropriate crush on her brooding, sharp-jawed, walking disaster of a boss. Now, with a magical prophecy unraveling, assassins showing up in the break room, and a suspicious amount of frogs wearing crowns, Evie has to figure out how to survive her job without setting the kingdom on fire―or her dignity, which is hanging by a very sarcastic thread. Being evil-adjacent was never part of the five-year plan. But then again . . . neither was falling for The Villain. A magical office comedy with grumpy bosses, snarky frogs, and definitely-not-feelings. Contains mature themes.