Beforelife Stories

It's okay if you don't believe in the afterlife. The people who live there don't believe in you, either. What if you went to heaven and no one there believed in Earth? This is the question at the heart of Beforelife, a satirical novel that follows the post-mortem adventures of widower Ian Brown, a man who dies on the book's first page and finds himself in an afterlife where no one else believes in "pre-incarnation." The other residents of the afterlife have mysteriously forgotten their pre-mortem lives and think that anyone who remembers a mortal life is suffering from a mental disorder called the "Beforelife Delusion." None of that really matters to Ian. All he wants to do is reunite with Penelope, his wife. Scouring the afterlife for any sign of her, Ian accidentally winds up on a quest to prove that the beforelife is real. This puts him squarely into the crosshairs of some of history's greatest heroes and villains, all of whom seem unhealthily obsessed with erasing Ian's memories and preventing him from reminding anyone of their pre-mortem lives. Only by staying a step ahead of his enemies can Ian hope to keep his much-needed marbles, find Penelope, and restore the public's memories of the beforelife.

For fans of Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, and P.G. Wodehouse Where do you go after you die? Detroit. Something's rotten in the afterlife. At least that's how it seems to Rhinnick Feynman, the one man who perceives that someone in the afterlife is tugging at history's threads and retroactively unraveling the past. Doing his best to navigate a netherworld in which history won't stop changing for the worse, Rhinnick sets off on a quest to put things right. This would be a good deal easier if Rhinnick didn't believe he was a character in a novel and that the Author was changing the past through editorial revision. And it'd be better if Rhinnick didn't find himself facing off against Isaac Newton, Jack the Ripper, Ancient Egyptians, a pack of frenzied Napoleons, and the prophet Norm Stradamus. Come to think of it, it'd be nice if Rhinnick could manage to steer clear of the afterlife's mental health establishment and a bevy of unexpected fiancées. Undeterred by these terrors, Rhinnick recognizes himself as The Man the Hour Produced, and the only one equipped to outwit the forces of science and mental health.

Gear up for laughter in the hereafter as Socrates sets out to assassinate every soul who can remember the mortal world. What do you get when a narcissistic megalomaniac plagued by daddy issues leads a horde of angry zealots, xenophobes, and ornery incels on a crusade to Make the Afterlife Great Again? You get an out-of-this-world adventure in which history's greatest minds face an apocalypse that could make Armageddon look like a cotillion.