Callahan

Twenty years since Spider Robinson first revealed the existence of Callahan's Place, the original bar is gone. Mike Callahan is gone, too, but his spirit lives on in the new bar, named Mary's Place for his daughter. On this particular day, nothing seems to be going right for Jake Stonebender, proprietor of Mary's Place. First a huge storm rips the roof off the bar-and moments later, drops another, better roof on it. Then, Mary Callahan and her husband show up, unconscious, literally out of nowhere, and they bring bad news to the barfolk: a nasty three-eyed, three-toed, three-everythinged purple monster is going to descend upon them within mere hours. Through laughter and tears, with puns powerful enough to melt Formica, the most famous bar in all spacetime is going to rock this night. But will the Earth survive?

Nobody blends good science with bad puns as brilliantly as Spider Robinson, as his legion of devoted fans will attest. Now he's back with the latest chapter of the Callahan saga-an improbable tale of impending doom, a road trip, space, drugs, and rock 'n' roll. The universe in is desperate peril. Due to a cluster of freakish phenomena, the United States' own defense system has become a doomsday machine, threatening the entire universe. Only one man can save everything-as-we-know-it from annihilation. Unfortunately, he's not available. So the job falls instead to bar owner Jake Stonebender, his wife Zoey, and their super-intelligent toddler, Erin, not to mention two dozen busloads of ex-hippies and freaks, Robert Heinlein's wandering cat, a whorehouse parrot, and misunderstood genius-inventor, Nikola Tesla, who is in fact alive and well.

The discreet little bar that Jake Stonebender established a few blocks below Duval Street is simply called The Place. There, Fast Eddie Costigan learned to curse back at parrots as he played the house piano, the Reverend Tom Hauptman learned to tend bar bare-chested without blushing, Long-Drink McGonnigle discovered the margarita and several señoritas, and all the other regulars settled into comfortable subtropical niches of their own. Nobody even noticed them save the universe. Over time, the twice-transplanted patrons of Callahan's Place attracted a pixilated collection of local zanies so quintessentially Key West that they made the New York originals seem almost normal. The elfin little Key deer, for instance-with a stevedore's mouth; or the merman with eczema; or Robert Heinlein's teleporting cat. For ten slow, merry years, life was good. The sun shone, the coffee dripped, the breeze blew just strongly enough to dissipate the smell of the puns, and little supergenius Erin grew to the verge of adolescence. Then disaster struck. Through the gate one sunny day comes a malevolent, moronic mastodon of a Mafioso named Tony Donuts, Jr. He's decided to resurrect the classic protection racket in Key West-and guess which tavern he's picked to hit first? Then, thanks to very poor accessorizing, Jake's wife, Zoey, suddenly finds herself in a place with no light, no heat, and no air-and no way home. The urgent question of her whereabouts turns out to be a problem so complex that even the entire gang, equipped with teleportation, time travel, and telepathy, might not be able to crack it in time. And while all this is going on, Death himself walks into The Place. But this time he will not leave alone.

This omnibus edition contains the trilogy of science fiction books that introduced the world to Mike Callahan and all of the regulars at Callahan's Place. Callahan's Crosstime Saloonis the neighborhood tavern to all of time and space, where the regulars are anything but. These time travelers, talking dogs, alcoholic vampires, and cybernetic aliens really, truly care about each other. It's the rare kind of place where bad puns are as appreciated as good conversation. Time Travelers Strictly Cash is their policy, but then again everybody pays cash at Callahan's. Lay your money on the bar, name your poison, step up to the line drawn on the barroom floor, and after drinking make a toast and throw the glass into the fireplace. It's an odd tradition but one that's led to some interesting stories. And don't worry about the cost-Callahan gets his glasses at bulk discount. Callahan's Secret may be one that nobody-not even the regulars-would guess, or it may be as simple as listening to all those post-toast stories. After all, shared pain is lessened and shared joy is increased-a simple concept that could, after a few drinks, lead to saving the world.