Diary of a Lesbian Housewyfe

Do you have a friend who drops by for a chit-chat and makes you chuckle-snort your tea all over your heirloom tablecloth? Well, you do now! Say hello to the Lesbian Housewyfe and store Grandma's linens in a safe place before you start reading.This hilarious and heartwarming essay collection could only drop out of the brain of a 50+ lesbian with expert-level housewife skills, classic book and movie recommendations, and advice like "eat the whole cookie" and "how to survive the holidays without getting drunk."Laugh along with the Bigger, Broader, Delightfuller Lesbian Housewyfe! "Perfect for any trip to the toilet." - Josephine Baker"I wrote this first." - Sappho"If Hick had housewifed like this, we never would have broken up." - Eleanor Roosevelt"Who knew an old lesbian could be this funny? What a smart purchase!" - Your Future Self

This delightfully funny collection of essays includes recipes and household hints from the first twenty years of marriage for LA Bourgeois, Lesbian Housewyfe. Here you'll find:Stories of life and love with great advice like "have sex while your parents are in the house," "coming out to the grocery bagger isn't necessary," and "adopt an organic lifestyle to avoid mowing."Recipes including her famous "You Can't Make Me" Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookie - Guaranteed to keep you off the softball team!Tips like how to groom your best friend's dog and keep the seasoning on your cast-iron skilletWhat have others said?"Insightful commentary on the modern lesbian lifestyle." - No one who ever read my work"I wish Erma Bombeck was alive and a lesbian so I could read her stuff instead." - My Father"Is that food? Can I have some?" - Mack the Dog