Tales from the House of Bunnicula

Dear possible reader of this book, I want to be a writer, just like my uncle Harold, who wrote a bunch of books about our friend Bunnicula. So I wrote this story. And boy! Did I ever get into trouble! My friend Delilah stopped speaking to me because I put her in my book. Uncle Harold stopped speaking to me because I didn't put him in my book. A writer's life isn't easy! But back to my story: It's about how a talented and lovable (not to mention smart) wirehaired dachshund puppy named Howie saves the world from a disgusting, evil menace named...oops, that would give away the story. But trust me, this menace is disgusting and evil, all right! Your friend, Howie.

Dear possible reader of this book, My editor asked me to write a third book in my series, Tales from the House of Bunnicula. And did I have trouble getting started! I was afraid I used up all my ideas. But faster than a writer can say "What if?" I came up with a story! It's about a lovable and smart (not to mention cute) orphan wirehaired dachshund puppy named Howie, who has a mysterious pain in his leg and is mysteriously invited to attend the Dogwiz Academy for Canine Conjurers. Together, Howie and his best friend, the very, very, very smart Delilah, who speaks in a British accent in this book for some reason, discover they must fight a sinister foe...The-Evil-Force-Whose-Nam-C'not-Be-Spoke!!! Your friend, Howie

Dear possible reader of this book, I wasn't sure I'd be able to write a book ever again after Canine Quarterly reviewed my series, Tales from the House of Bunnicula. They said I would never win the Newbony Award. Was I depressed! And I didn't even know what a Newbony was! Luckily Delilah's read a lot of Newbony books, so she helped me write this one. It's about a poor (but very cute) orphan dachshund puppy named Howie Monroe, who lives on the prairie and yearns for a chicken bone. (I know. Trust me.) Things really get exciting when Howie and his best friend, the smart and well-read Delilah, find a time machine and travel back to ancient Egypt where they uncover...the mystery of the Pharaoh's tomb!!! Your friend, Howie.

Dear Reader, The guy who usually writes these letters asked me to do it instead. Maybe he was having a bad writing day. Maybe he wanted me to play the sap for him. Or maybe he ran into Trouble with a capital T. Well, Trouble's in my business. I'm a dog. I'm a detective. The name's Bud Barkin. And this book is about the case I had involving a dame named Delilah Gorbish, whom I would call Trouble with a capital T except I've used that metaphor already, and the clown named Crusty Carmady whose calling card is a teakettle that he heaves through windows. Nice pair of birds. The mystery deepens with another character called the Big Fish, who isn't really a fish and who's addicted to the Home Shopping Network. Hey, I don't write 'em-I just solve 'em. Yours truly, Bud Barkin, P.E.

Dear possible reader of this book, What's faster than a speeding bullet and more powerful than a pound of Gorgonzola cheese? It's Stinky Dog, the hero of my new book. By a stroke of fate (or is it destiny?) the lovable (not to mention cute) Howie Monroe is transformed into Stinky Dog, protector of the innocent. (Don't worry, he's still lovable.) (Not to mention cute.) The secret of Stinky Dog's power is Super Stench-an odor so strong it can bend steel! (Am I good or what?) Joined by a smart-mouthed sidekick, a sparrow named Little D, Stinky Dog tries to save Center City from villainous, low-life, miserable, rotten, wicked, kindergarten-scissors-stealing gangs who roam the streets, knocking down little old ladies and running off with their handbags! Your friend, Howie